I'm worried about someone else

I'm worried about someone else

By finding this page you are already one step closer to helping the person you care about.

With compassion and support, they can learn to overcome the thoughts and feelings they are experiencing and find hope for the future.

It can be very distressing if someone you know is feeling suicidal or you think they might be at risk of suicide. Many people have suicidal thoughts, but it does not mean they will take their own life.

Things can get better. 

The person you care about may have already talked about suicide or attempted to take their own life. Or they may not have said or done anything but are acting in ways that make you worried. 

Whatever the situation, encouraging someone to talk, giving them time to be heard and listening to what they say without judgement can make a big difference. 

We know that asking someone directly if they are considering suicide could save their life, and it can encourage them to open up and get further help.

Looking out for someone

This Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM) resource has lots of useful information to help you know when someone might be thinking about suicide and the different ways you can support them.

Myths and warning signs

Most people who are thinking about suicide show one or more warning signs through what they say or do.

You may have noticed that someone is not acting as they normally would. Or maybe they have made comments that suggest they are finding life tough, or you may feel that something is troubling them, even if they say they are okay. 

Knowing the signs to look out for can give you the confidence to ask someone how they are feeling and help them get further support. 

Papyrus’ Let’s talk about spotting the signs of suicide outlines the things to look out for that suggest someone may be at risk of suicide, including changes in what someone says or does, physical signs of distress and situations that can trigger suicidal thoughts.

Grassroots’ myths about suicide runs through common misconceptions and misunderstandings to help you feel more confident to ask directly about suicide and provide support. 

Asking about suicide

Asking someone whether they are thinking about suicide could save their life. 

Asking them will not make the situation worse. In fact, it can really help someone to make sense of how they are feeling.

Make the time to have the conversation. Find somewhere they feel comfortable and are able to open up about how they are feeling. 

Have a conversation about why you are worried about them. Tell them what you have noticed that makes you concerned they are thinking about suicide and then ask them directly if they are having thoughts of suicide. Prepare yourself for them to say yes, and then listen – really take the time to hear what is going on for them and why they have come to feel suicide is an option. 

Ask, tell

It can be scary to know how to start a conversation about suicide, or to know the kind of things to say to get someone to open up.

This Ask, Tell animation gives practical tips on how and when to have compassionate conversations with people who may be feeling suicidal.

You can also learn about how to listen, ask questions and respond in ways that will make people feel seen and understood.

Other helpful resources

Knowing how to start and have a conversation about suicide can help to save a life. Guidance is available which has helped many people, and it can help you too. 

• This guide from Papyrus will support you to have a conversation with a young person you are worried about.

• SAMH’s Suicide: How to ask runs through some things you can say to ask someone directly if they are thinking about suicide – and what to say next if they answer yes or no.

• This guide to conversation starters from Papyrus will help you to prepare for and have helpful and supportive conversations.

• If you’re unsure how to start a conversation, this United to Prevent Suicide guide to talking, listening and reducing the stigma around suicide can help.

Looking after yourself

Supporting someone at risk of suicide can be stressful, whether they are in crisis, having fleeting thoughts or repeat feelings.

Whatever the situation, looking after your own wellbeing is important – for you and for them.

What does looking after yourself mean in practice?

There are many ways you can take care of yourself – big and small. SAMH’s guidance on how to cope when supporting someone else will help you build strategies for staying safe and well while you care for others.

It’s normal to feel unsure about what to do if someone is at risk of suicide. Many of us worry we are getting things wrong or that we are making the situation worse.

But letting someone know that you’re there to listen, and helping them get further support if they need it, can really make a difference.

There are a number of guides which can help you feel more confident to reach out to someone you are concerned about.

SAMH’s guide Are You Worried About Someone? explains why someone might be having suicidal thoughts and feelings, what it may be like from their perspective, how to address your own thoughts and feelings about the situation, and how to deal with a crisis if it hits. 

This Samaritans’ webpage covers how to offer support, what ‘being there’ can involve, guidance on checking-in and how to look after yourself as you care for someone else. 

Time Space Compassion is a simple approach to supporting people experiencing suicidal crisis. It focuses on what people with lived and living experience tell us matters most: that they are met with time, space and compassion. 

This introductory guide to Time Space Compassion was written for those in support services but has lots of relevant information for family and friends who are worried about someone, including ideas for action, alongside links to practical resources and stories.